it was like eating out sand paper
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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