3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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