her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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