So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
