Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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