my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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