This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
