would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
