You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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