if you like me you must not know who I am
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
