Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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