yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
