living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
