I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
