all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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