not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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