I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
