You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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