you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
