I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize