Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
