pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
