gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We have so much sex to catch up on
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
