we have officially lost it.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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