Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
