Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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