Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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