this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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