So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
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