Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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