if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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