FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
