you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
