3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
