she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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