and you said cock pushups were impossible
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize