I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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