halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
