Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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