Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
