census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
