Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
