found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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