i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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