I hate your face
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
