ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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