This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I could fuck to npr.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize