it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
