no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
