The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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