i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
