He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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