there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
