Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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