i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
