it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We left the knife in your bed.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
