I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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