i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Randomize
