so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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