can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
