HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize